It has taken me years to see through the eyes of my younger self, and through the heart of the so called Goodyear Blimp, fat, misfit, ugly girl. The wannabe model of a truth that beauty comes in many different shapes and sizes.

This young girl chose the “not so pretty” and “largest size dress” out of fear. The fear of what if? What if I am too fat for the beautiful dresses? What if others laugh if small sizes do not fit? The heartache and extreme pain of hate carried and buried me in the shame and pain for way too many years.

The story that I never wanted to ever get married came with a double pain, and a story that the eyes of a teenager would see. The truth was that the fear of not being able to fit in, in all areas was crippling and held me back from ever having the ability to move beyond the fear of the woman who believed she was cursed by the so called “wedding dress.”

Cursed that if I tried it on before the wedding, it was to never be, but the truth had always been. The shame and fear had crippled me to a truth I have worn for too long and some day soon I know the woman of today is about to break that curse and still wear the kickass red boots.

As I now know, I am more that enough and f***ing matter enough to put a new beautiful dress and ring on. That dress and diamond ring to come will be a “Hell Ya!” for every young woman who believed they were never enough or would never be.

Today the promise to me, and the treasure that I can now see, is the beautiful young Corrie was never cursed but blessed, that God always has a plan, was always protecting me, and saving me for the absolute best of me.

Today I shall shine, with a fire in my eyes, and a “Hell Ya!” In my heart.